Parenting advice is everywhere. A quick scroll through social media can flood you with countless labels—gentle parenting, intentional parenting, free-range parenting, attachment parenting, and so on. While many of these trends offer useful insights, they can also be overwhelming, leaving parents wondering if they are doing it "right." However, when we step back from trends and look at research, we find that psychologists have identified four primary parenting styles that have been studied for decades. Understanding these styles can help you reflect on your approach and make informed choices about what works best for your family.
The Four Research-Based Parenting Styles
In the 1960s, psychologist Diana Baumrind conducted groundbreaking research on parenting and identified three main styles: authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. Later, researchers Maccoby and Martin expanded this work to include a fourth style: neglectful or uninvolved parenting. These four styles continue to serve as the foundation for understanding parenting approaches today.
The Four Parenting Styles
1 . Authoritative Parenting (Balanced & Nurturing)
High expectations with high warmth and support
Encourages independence while setting clear boundaries
Open communication and mutual respect between parent and child
Children tend to develop strong self-regulation, confidence, and resilience
Example: A parent sets a bedtime for their child and acknowledges that it’s hard to stop playing and get ready for bed. They provide comfort for the feelings and maintain the limit.
2. Authoritarian Parenting (Strict & Controlling)
High expectations with low warmth and responsiveness
Emphasizes obedience, discipline, and structure
Communication is often one-sided (“because I said so”)
Children may struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, or rebellion
Example: A parent sets a bedtime and becomes upset when the child complains. They take away storytime because the child argues about bedtime.
3. Permissive Parenting (Lenient & Indulgent)
Low expectations with high warmth and responsiveness
Few rules or boundaries, with an emphasis on freedom
Parents may avoid conflict or struggle with enforcing limits
Children may develop poor self-discipline or difficulty with responsibility
Example: A parent doesn’t set a consistent bedtime for the child. The child stays up late to watch tv with the parent even though the child is continuously tired in the morning.
4. Neglectful Parenting (Uninvolved & Detached)
Low expectations with low warmth and responsiveness
Minimal guidance, structure, or emotional involvement
Parents may be emotionally unavailable due to stress or other factors
Children may struggle with attachment, self-worth, and emotional regulation
Example: A child constantly has to make their own meals, manage their own schedule, and rarely receives emotional support from their parents.
Why Understanding Your Parenting Style Matters
No parent fits perfectly into one category all the time. Parenting is dynamic, and circumstances—such as stress, personal experiences, and even the temperament of your child—can influence how you respond. However, being aware of these styles allows you to reflect on your tendencies and make intentional adjustments. If you find yourself leaning heavily toward authoritarian or permissive tendencies, for example, small shifts toward a more authoritative approach may foster a better balance between structure and connection.
Moving Forward: Finding Balance in Your Parenting
Rather than striving for perfection, focus on balance. Parenting is a dynamic process, and self-reflection can help you adjust your approach as your child grows. Ask yourself:
✔ How do I respond when my child challenges a rule?
✔ Do I provide warmth and connection while maintaining reasonable expectations?
✔ How can I create an environment that supports both structure and emotional well-being?
Final Thoughts
Understanding your parenting style isn’t about judgment—it’s about awareness. Parenting is a journey, and learning about these research-based styles gives you a foundation for making informed choices that align with your values and your child’s needs. Instead of chasing the latest trend, focus on building a strong, connected relationship with your child while providing the guidance they need to thrive.
Which of these styles do you see most in your own parenting? Have you noticed shifts over time? Reflecting on your own experiences can help you create an intentional and responsive approach to parenting that best serves your family.
~Rose Couse~
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