Welcome back to the series on play-based learning. In Practical Approaches to Play-Based Learning you will find tips for establishing quality playtime with your child, while enhancing play-based learning. As well, I will discuss how to end playtime with respect for the child’s process and learning.
It’s great for you to play with your child, but it is also great for your child to play alone or with other children. When you play with your child, focus on quality time rather than quantity.
Here are some helpful tips for establishing quality play time with your child.
Choose a time when your focus can be fully on the child. You can let your child know if you have 15 minutes or 30 minutes to play. You can set a timer if that is helpful for your child. Give a warning when the end is near and make a plan for ending the play and what will happen next.
Eliminate distractions. Put your phone out of reach.
Follow your child’s lead. Let them guide the play. This can take some practice if you are used to taking charge.
Take on any role that your child assigns to you. They may want you to be the child while they are the parent or teacher.
Avoid asking questions or testing your child’s knowledge with questions such as, “What color is that block? What shape did you make?”
Avoid jumping in to solve every problem that occurs. This can also take practice as adults tend to want to fix things. Comment on what has happened, “Oh no, the tower fell down.” You can wonder with them, “I wonder what you (or we) could do now.” Give them time to offer solutions and try them before providing any suggestions of your own.
Avoid making judgements, rather comment on what they are doing or did. Instead of saying, “I love your picture,” or “Good job,” say “You used a lot of colors and made lines.” Praise the process and effort rather than the product.
This may seem like a lot. The intent is not to suck the fun out of playing with your child and create worry about doing it right. This is a guide, some suggestions that can enhance play time with your child, especially if it doesn’t feel natural for you right now. The important thing is the time spent playing with your child. Have fun and don’t over think it. Focused time spent with your child will support connection and the relationship. Play is beneficial for your child’s well-being and resilience but can also be good for your well-being. Enjoy the experience.
Enter into children’s play
and you will find the place
where their minds, hearts
and souls meet.
-Virginia Axline
This would be intentional play time with your child. I also acknowledge that play often happens spontaneously-often when you’re busy doing something else.. Your child may seek you out to engage in their play. It’s also okay to say, “I am busy and can’t play now.” You may need to take a minute to help them come up with a plan of what they will do on their own or the requests may persist.
It is good for children to play on their own. No need for guilt. It is unrealistic that you can be fully engaged with your child all the time. For young children it can be helpful to create some safe play spaces where a child can play with minimal supervision. Playpens for infants or baby gates for toddlers can be used to allow visual supervision with limited intervention for short periods of time. .
How to End Play Time
Regardless of how much time your child has to play, ending it can be a challenge. There are some ways to support your child through that while honoring the importance of their playtime.
Give warnings prior to and near the end of playtime. Whether playing alone at home or out on a playdate you can tell your child, “You have thirty minutes to play and then it is dinner time (or whatever will happen next).” Then as it gets closer to the end of that time connect with your child, validate what they have been doing and confirm the time limit. “You have been having so much fun. You have worked really hard on that tower. In ten minutes, it will be time to tidy up and have dinner.”
If you haven’t established an initial time limit, you can still provide a warning for when it is time to end and transition to another activity.
Timers that visually show the time passing can be helpful for some children.
Taking a picture of what they have created before tidying it up can also validate their effort and the importance of their choices and actions.
Having a space for ‘works in process’ can also validate their effort, choices and actions and perhaps alleviate some of the stress of ending the play.
I imagine that ending play and having to put everything they have created away feels similar to when the work I have spent an hour or more creating on my computer, suddenly disappears. I may not scream and kick my feet but I sure feel like it and have been known to bang the desk and let a few choice words fly.
Thanks for following along with this 3-part series on play-based learning.
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