How To Nurture Intrinsic Motivation
In the previous blog post I explained the difference between intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation and why it’s important to nurture intrinsic motivation in childhood. This post provides 5 practical ways to nurture intrinsic motivation.
1. Focus on Strengths
With a mindset shift from fixing flaws to developing strengths, parents can nurture children’s natural tendencies and intrinsic motivation. The capacity to identify, use and develop our strengths builds self-esteem and resilience. Too often with children we focus on what needs to be corrected, what their weaknesses are and provide repetition and practice of that skill.
Can you imagine the productivity and morale of an organization that assigned employees to the skill they were weakest at and had them do that over and over again?
When we focus on strengths, children will be more inclined to use those strengths for the benefit of their development and well-being. Studies have shown that students who can use their strengths best are most likely to succeed academically and socially.
Children may have strengths in domains outside of the typical structures that schools create and demand conformity to. Then, it is even more essential that other adults appreciate and nurture their strengths.
Strengths do emerge and change as we develop. It is possible to discover new strengths and capacities well into our adulthood.
What are your child’s strengths?
How can you acknowledge and nurture those strengths?
What opportunities are available for your child to celebrate and use those strengths?
2. Support Your Child’s Interests
Strengths and interests often overlap. It is natural to pursue interests in areas that we are good at. For example; someone who has physical ability as a strength will choose sport related interests. Someone whose strength is creativity may choose art related interests. Children will be more intrinsically motivated for activities or tasks that they are interested in. One of my children would pursue math problems for the challenge and satisfaction. Math and problem solving were strengths and thus interests of his. The other child would complete math problems because it was required by his teachers and he needed the grade. However, that child had an uncanny strength for remembering statistics and facts. He was interested in sports. He was not interested in reading at the time, but when I got him a subscription to Sports Illustrated for Kids, he was excited to read. Strengths and interests can be utilized to support other areas of development. Interests will change over time and it’s important that children are able to pursue a variety of interests, Some will stick and some will not. For one of my children, a childhood interest in food and creating in the kitchen has led to a career as a Chef.
3. Encourage Effort and Persistence
When effort and persistence is valued over outcome, children learn that their hard work makes a difference. They can appreciate and enjoy the process. To encourage effort and persistence;
Model persistence. Acknowledge mistakes and talk about what you have learned. Talk about what is hard for you and how you work through the challenges.
Break goals and tasks into small, achievable steps. Help children recognize and celebrate the steps towards a big goal or task. Cleaning the toy room may seem overwhelming. Break it into steps; “Let’s pick up all the blocks. We did it!” You can ask questions that will help them do this; “What is the first thing you can do?” What should we do next?”
Create a safe space for mistakes and trying new and hard things.
Help your child set proximal, self-directed goals. Proximal goals are close to what the child can already do but require some effort. This helps the child notice the progress without feeling overwhelmed by the goal that seems out of reach.
4. Set Informational Limits instead of Controlling Limits
Explain the reason for a limit. When your intention is to teach rather than control, the child will learn to set their own limits based on information that is available. Instead of “Because I said so,” explain that we need to clean up the toys so pieces don’t get lost and they will be ready for you next time you want to play with them or I am worried your little sister will put the pieces in her mouth or last time I stepped on lego that was left on the floor and it really hurt.
5. See Your Child As Competent and Capable
Let your child try things that are a challenge. Know that they can handle some upset and frustration and provide support when it becomes too much for them to manage on their own. You won’t always get this right; sometimes you will jump in to help too quickly and sometimes you will not jump in quick enough and they will lose control of their emotions. Give yourself some grace and compassion. Children are unpredictable. Be aware, reflect when things go well and when they don’t. Practice, it will become easier.
Engage your child in problem solving. Don’t solve every problem for them. Acknowledge when they have solved a problem or done something hard. Their confidence will grow as they feel more competent and capable.
Give your child more autonomy, choice and say in decisions as they grow and develop.
Conclusion
Children are bombarded with external evaluation, judgment, and comparison; with grades, reward systems, and social media posts and likes. Intrinsic motivation can instill a confidence and sense of self that will buffer against the negative implications of all the external sources of evaluation and judgment. These strategies will help to nurture the gift of intrinsic motivation for your child. Intrinsic motivation is related to growth mindset, well-being and resilience.
The next blog post will explore ways to praise that will nurture intrinsic motivation rather than extrinsic motivation, as praise often does.
- RM COUSE
TO STAY UP-TO-DATE ON NEW BLOG POSTS AND OTHER NEWS,
ความคิดเห็น